I’ll miss you, Chester Bennington
Chester Bennington’s death is the loss of an incredibly talented artist, a man who inspired me to live my dreams, fight my battles and never give up. I always thought Chester won his battles and found peace. I guess I was wrong.
>> The reminders pull the floor from your feet
In the kitchen one more chair than you need
Who cares if one more light goes out?
I do <<
Since it’s been all over the news, most will have heard that Chester Bennington, front man of Linkin Park, former singer of Stone Temple Pilots, Dead by Sunrise and Grey Daze, committed suicide. Usually I wouldn’t write about the death of someone I didn’t know personally. But this is different. To me, Chester is what Kurt Cobain was for a whole generation in the 90s. Chester was my hero, my icon and idol, my moral compass and his music saved me in my youth.
Yes, I am a big Linkin Park fan, not just because of Chester, but he was a crucial part of the band. I saw them at eight shows and met the band three times – each time was magical. Realizing that Chester is gone, I have to say goodbye to the possibility of ever seeing them live again. Or to meet them and shake their hands again. To ever hearing a new Linkin Park song for the first time.
>> I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream <<
I was never this shocked by news of a dead celebrity because none of them ever felt that close to me. It is different this time because he was an important person to me even if I didn’t know him. Even when I was younger and didn’t really understand the lyrics, I knew why Chester was screaming. It felt as if I felt his pain.
To a Linkin Park fan, hearing about Chester’s issues with alcohol, drugs, abuse and depression isn’t news. But I thought that Chester fought his battles and won. I thought the music wasn’t filled with anger anymore because he wasn’t. I thought the music became calmer because he was. Even tough Chester allegedly didn’t leave a suicide note, the lyrics speak volumes.
>> When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
And don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest <<
Chester, I wish you would have seen that there are other ways. I wish you’d quit music if it became too stressful, and just moved on. After all you’ve been through, I hoped you’d found a way to move forward. I wish you’d found your happy place. If I had to summarize all the music you’ve ever created I’d say it’s about fighting your personal battles. To stand up after being beaten down. And that it’s okay to be sad and angry when life sucks. I didn’t realize how personal the lyrics you wrote probably were. In the end, it doesn’t even matter? Sorry, Chester, but you were wrong.
I hope you found your peace. I hope you rest in rock heaven with Chris Cornell and Kurt Cobain. You will be missed.
Suggested further reading:
Official Chester Memorial
RIP Chester Bennington
The message of Chester Bennington
Notes on suicide of Chester
Elle
Awesome piece, I just found this and had to comment. When Chester died, I was devastated. I felt like I lost someone close to me, someone that I personally knew and cared about, and related to. Linkin Park’s music was the sound track to my life. Hybrid Theory and Meteora resonated deeply with me. Like it stunned me. The helplessness, the victimization, then the abject ANGER. I felt that shit to my core. And it poured out of me every time I listened to the music. I became one with it; it healed me. And that was all Chester, his soul bled into that music, in every lyric. How could you not feel like you knew him when it was so visceral? God rest your soul Chester, I hope you’re finally at peace.
Ben Leander
I always love hearing from other fans whose experiences sometimes sound so damn familiar. I can relate to every single word you wrote, I’ve been a hardcore fan for many years, had some Meet & Greets, sometimes dreamed of them. And even though it’s six people it’s always been Chester who symbolized the lyrics for me too! I will never not miss him and mourn the possibility of there even being a new song with him. However, we can be happy they left us with a big catalogue of music that I’m sure I’m still occassionally gonna listen to until I die.
Elle
Ben, exactly! I love how you used snippets of his prophetic lyrics – they’re all the more poignant and heartbreaking now that he’s gone. I think of his family often, the pain and loss they must endure. And the man he’d be through the future years, the music he would have left with us. He was such a blazing light, gone too soon. Thanks for sharing.
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agnuswalters
Ditto. I don\’t think I can add much to what you said…if you were born in the 90s, at least in my side of the world, the first band people ever listen to is Linkin park. Wonderful post!
benleander
Thank you. I tried my best to find words to sum up what I was feeling. To me Linkin Park were more than the first band I ever listened to (they are you are right^^). I thought I could relate to what Chester was singing in some ways. I still don\’t understand what happened and I guess I never will..
agnuswalters
I understand…and that\’s true..
Paul
Well said. I\’m the same way when it comes to celebrity deaths, the don\’t really have an impact on me. But this one did. Chester and his lyrics meant so much to millions, I just wish we could\’ve done something to help him.
newhonesty
With Chester still being so young and it being a suicide it was just so tragic. Not to even mention that this band helped me so much in my young years and I still appreciated their music a lot. It\’s so sad to know that there will never be a new song featuring Chester :/
Paul
I was going through his old tweets the other day and I think he said a few months ago that he had written 6 new songs. Shame we\’ll never get to hear them.
newhonesty
That truly is a shame :/ Would be interesting the style he was going for… Maybe he recorded demos that will be released via LPU one day…
Raivenne
Spot on tribute to Bennington. There is no good in goodbye Here it is five days later and I still can\’t believe it. I have tickets to the Blinkin Park concert that was to be held this Friday here in NYC.I\’m looking at them even as I type this. I can\’t make myself throw them away yet.
newhonesty
Just a side question, Do yo have an idea why those shows have been called \’Blinkin Park\’? Just curious. I understand what you\’re feeling so well. I guess I would keep the tickets. It\’s a nice reminder although it\’s probably bittersweet…
Raivenne
Yes, the band Blink 182 was scheduled to tour with LP as their opening act. I have a box where I keep old ticket stubs. I\’ve put them there.
2loud2oldmusic
Great post. Such a sad and tragic loss.
newhonesty
Thanks man 🙂
SumitOfficial
May God bless
BrizzleLass
This is a beautiful tribute to Chester.
Thank you also for linking to my post.
newhonesty
Thank you very much. And of course 🙂
shaunkellett
A great article! It really was a shocking loss. Thank you for including myself in your \’Further Reading\’ too.
newhonesty
It truly was shocking and I still don\’t fel as if I truly realized he will never be again. With a musician it\’s common that you don\’t hear about them everyday but now we won\’t ever again hear from him.
Of course man, great article you put up!
shaunkellett
I think what made it more raw for me was being at their last ever gig… I hadn\’t really listened to them all that recently, but being at that gig was awesome and a pure nostalgia trip… To then find out that, two weeks later, he was gone… Man, what an awful feeling. I keep thinking back to that gig and wondering \”What was he thinking on stage? Was he truly happy in those moments, or did he always know what was waiting for him later on?\”
newhonesty
Damn that\’s tough. We will probably never know if he had this all planned out or not. Yeah and I will forever regret not going to their latest gig because life just was too stressful at the time. If I had known it\’d be the last chance to see them..