Becoming an Uncle

I knew the day was gonna come that my sister would have a child but I can’t believe that day is here. A short while ago she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

Creating a human

There is probably a whole lot of pressure when having your first child and I can’t put myself in my sister’s shoes right now. I’m guessing her and her boyfriends’ life will drastically change as they’re suddenly responsible for a defenseless newborn human that has little means of communicating its needs and wishes. It’s a strange thought to me that she has created a whole new person and will continue to shape her on her way through this beautiful but also challenging and sometimes dark world. Any mother and father have my biggest respect for taking on this responsibility and she has mine even more so. I know she is going to be good at it and I couldn’t be prouder of her.

With this birth, she has added to our small family tree. There are not a whole lot of us out there, at least not where we live. There are more of us in other regions of Austria and quite a lot of us are located in the U.S. However, our immediate family is a very small one and since I am gay and don’t feel the wish to have a biological child, we are probably not gonna expand all that much. Because of that, I am even happier that my sister chose to have a child, making our parents’ grandparents and me an uncle.

My own kids?

This text is not about me, but obviously, I have to make it about myself, that’s just who I am. Earlier this year, I got a routine check-up and found out that it would be very unlikely for me to become a (biological) father. I’ll spare everyone the medical details, however, I decided to not get the follow-up test to find out just how unlikely it would be. It was strange finding out that this was probably not gonna happen for me, but since it wasn’t my plan anyway, why would I look into it more? Maybe someday I’m curious or my ideas of life change, who knows. For now, I’ll leave it. This is not my path. I would love to become a foster parent one day, I know that, but before I even start thinking of that, I need to get my shit together in many other areas of life. How can you feel ready to take care of someone else? I’m already struggling to take care of myself. As I said: my biggest respect for anyone who takes on the role of a guardian.

Being an uncle

Anyway, back to my sister. I am super excited for her and I know that the next couple of months are probably gonna be even more stressful than the past months. I won’t be here for the first few weeks as I am again spending the rest of this summer in Berlin. I am sad that I will miss this, however, I kinda think my sister and her boyfriend are gonna need some time and space to themselves in this new situation. They also just became their own family! When I am back, I definitely want to find time to see them more often. I wanna be there for my niece. I don’t know in which capacity and I don’t know if I’m the best with babies but I don’t wanna be a stranger to her or the quirky guncle she only gets to see on holidays on special occasions.

This is all very new and I don’t know how it’s going to feel. But I’m certain that this is going to be an amazing thing. There are lots of things to figure out and I am only a side character in this story. That being said, I really hope I will get along with my niece and that this will generally be a neverending story of love. The future will tell!

BenLeander

By the way…

I am writing a book