FRACTURES [Short Film]

Over the course of the past six months, I have written a poem, constantly changing what it was about as my life was changing with it. Figuring out what I wanted to say, forgetting what my message was and finding it again, puzzling together a text that was as schizophrenic as I often felt in this time. When I was finished, I recorded a video, added original music and sound and made an experimental video short out of it. Today I wanna present the result of this process. I poured a lot of myself into these 2 mins video, so I’m happy to hear feedback or reactions. 

Warning: Might be triggering to some sensitive viewers. 

 

 

Balancing brains and heart

Ignoring the hustle

Deactivating myself

Doing the opposite of what feels right

Letting go and giving in

Loving myself for one part and hating another

Missing every day, too proud to admit

Not fading into irrelevance

Telling myself that I can do this

Everything is never enough

Trying to forget that you exist

Will you stop reminding me

And sometimes I miss us

I miss what we could have been and never will be

I miss us, even though I don’t know anymore what that is

 

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Hirn und Herz im Gleichgewicht

Ignorieren der Hektik

Mich selbst deaktiveren

Das Gegenteil von dem tun, was sich richtig anfühlt

Loslassen und nachgeben

Mich selbst für einen Teil lieben und den anderen hassen

Jeden Tag vermissen, zu stolz, es zuzugeben

Nicht in die Bedeutungslosigkeit verfallen

Mir selbst sagen, dass ich das tun kann

Alles ist niemals genug

Versuchen, zu vergessen, dass man existiert

Wirst du aufhören, mich daran zu erinnern

Und manchmal vermisse ich uns

Ich vermisse das, was wir hätten sein können und niemals sein werden

Ich vermisse uns, auch wenn ich nicht mehr weiß, was das ist

 

BenLeander

 

 

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Where is my heart?
Airplane
Something New
About Last Night
Warm Hands, Cold Body