The problem with gay marriage

This article is a reply to Reading anti-gay comments.

To me, the problem with gay marriage is that there is no problem. I don’t understand how the decision of two consenting adults to join lives in matrimony effects anyone other than the two of them. For me personally it doesn’t matter as much because I don’t need a piece of paper or a ring or a law to validate a relationship – I don’t feel like I need to follow every hetero-norm to be a part of this society. However, I think it is important that gay marriage is legalized, so that same-sex couples who want to marry have the possibility to do so.

I didn’t plan on writing about this topic until I browsed some blogs. I was searching for reasons that people oppose gay marriage because I truly didn’t understand it. The most common argument against gay marriage is that children need a man and a woman as parents. I find this funny, not only because it is an argument against same-sex adoption and not marriage, but also because this hypothesis has been proven wrong a long time ago (inter alia by millions of kids growing up with only one parent): Adopted children thrive in same-sex households. Another common argument is that homosexuality is ‘unnatural’. I am certain that, whoever claims that homosexuality is unnatural hasn’t seen gay penguin couple Dotty and Zee in the zoo Bremerhaven. Also, be sure to read up upon this: Homosexuality, animals and families.

Who is who at the gay zoo? Dotty and Zee (Zoo Bremerhaven)

However, I am not here to reasonably disprove all arguments against gay marriage. But I wanted to share the consensus of what I have learned while reading all the problems people have with gay marriage. It is – without any doubt – religion. Every argument against same-sex marriage can be lead back to some form of religious conviction, mostly from members of the Catholic church.

There is no point in arguing with someone about religion. They won’t listen to reason as I won’t listen to bible verses. But we must find a way to move forward together. Because the LGBT+ community and a multitude of religious communities will continue to share the same laws. I don’t believe that the church should have any say in legal matters anymore but we must find a way to co-exist. I guess what I am trying to say is, that whatever you believe is best for the future of society, it is nothing more than on OPINION. And whatever your opinion is, you don’t need to shove it down anyone’s throat. Live and let live.

Photo as well as title photo by Patrick Lentz

If you choose to live your life by the standards of a religion, you may very well do that. However, this lifestyle is not for me (and probably not for anyone I know). Let me give you my honest two cents about how I think, you should live your life: whichever way you want. There is NOT A SINGLE PERSON on earth who can tell you what is right and what is wrong. You can do whatever you want to do and you do not have to follow any religious or societal guidelines. If someone has a problem with how you live your life, then it’s their problem, and not yours. Fuck them for thinking they get to have a say in how you live your (possibly only) life!

There is just one thing I want to add to this on-going discussion and that is a quote from pope Francis: ‘I believe that the church not only must say it’s sorry … to this person that is gay that it has offended, but it must say it’s sorry to the poor, also, to mistreated women, to children forced to work. […] I will also repeat what the Catechism of the Catholic Church says: that [gay people] should not be discriminated against, that they have to be respected, pastorally accompanied.’

Do you think religions should have a say in this matter? If not, who do you feel would be best to make laws going forward?

Suggested further reading: Call me a fxxxxx lover